Baseball Rules!

I really like baseball. I really like the Yankees. However, I don't like announcers too much. On that note, here are....

Stupid Things that Tim McCarver of FOXSports Baseball said during the 2001 Playoffs

I got my "splitter" and my "plate" mixed up and kind of called it a "splate." It's a new word I made up.
Like a rusty razor through a thick beard...that's a bad swing by O'Neill.
Schilling's pitch just nips the corner...(replay shows that the pitch was outside)...says the home plate umpire.
If Bautista throws you out on that play then that is a good base running play.
Batters have a hard time hitting knuckleballs, catchers have a hard time catching knuckleballs and batters have a hard time bunting Rivera...???

My sister Lauren let me know about this tidbit sometime during the 2003 season:

A quote on the screen is credited to "unknown" so McCarver says..."It's unknown, it's like it's anonymous"

As all should agree, Joe Morgan sucks big time, too:

He certainly thinks he's right all the time, and is sure that he can tell you everything, despite the fact that he can't make it through a sentence without sounding like an idiot. A baseball player who should not have moved to the announcer's booth.

In particular, a pitcher was hit by a ball coming back to the mound during the 2003 season, here's what Joe Morgan and the color commentator had to say about it:

Joe Morgan: He got hit in the leg, looks like he got hit in the leg. Definitely looks like he was hit in the leg, right back at him and hit his leg. Took that ball right on the leg.
Color Commentator: Looks like maybe in the stomach.
Joe Morgan: I don't know, I can't see it.

See, this is the stuff that really pisses me off.

And a personal favorite:

Tim McCarver said, as they showed Ichiro watch Bernie's homer: "Ichiro, like Knoblauch who watched Boone's homerun, both short."

Also some sentiments from Susyn Waldman:

And Jeter pulls it into right field for a base hit.
I like the players with tight pants, it makes their ass look cuter.

A couple links from the UberPlexer and beyond on how much Tim McCarver sucks:

Here
Googlefight on the subject
From a Red Sox fan - Search for "McCarver"
Just check out November 5, 2003 archives, before 10:10 AM for Tim Hating links.
Tim McCarver Hater's Page - Ruminations on a Baboon